Living with Trichotillomania (part 2)

I posted Part 2 in a different section because I think people need to know how those with TTM feel given various interactions. And how to handle meeting those with disabilities. I personally prefer that people look at me and ask what happened. Then for them to try not to stare at me. I have had people assume I had brain surgery or that I was mentally handicapped. And I suppose in some round a bout way it is mental. But it's only a social handicap. And only because people don't know about it.

Tip one: Ask.

I understand that some people don't want to talk about handicaps because they are afraid to offend the handicapped person. But believe me you will offend people a lot more when you unknowingly look while trying not to look or you try to hide that you are looking. At least that's what I think. So just ask.

Tip two: Don't make jokes.

A long time ago I was in line at a restaurant. Some guy walked by with his buddies and his girlfriend. As we were entering. His girlfriend made a comment of some kind while looking at me. Most likely she had just pointed out that my hair looked off, ( she was too short to actually see the top of my head ) The guy made some joke or something and had a good laugh with his buddies. I had not even noticed. I never got to eat that day and I'm banned from the place, Because my friend got carried away and snatched the guy out of his car and demanded he apologize to me while his kicking feet were about a foot off the ground. I tried to tell my friend it was not that big a deal but uh. Well he's rather defensive of me. Usually people who have a better understanding of something but don't have it get more angry than those of us who actually live with it.

So, don't make jokes. Even if you think its harmless. It may not be us you have to worry about.

Tip three: Don't offer advice without a lot of fore thought.

There are times you just don't go offering obvious solutions like:

you should,

“wear a wig.” “try a hat” “style your hair” “shave your head” “ see a doctor/psychologist/ect.”

Those are all common things that most people have said. I know you mean well but the chances are if we aren't doing it now, we have tried it and it made things worse in some way. Either directly or indirectly. You mean well and that's nice. But it's best to think before you offer advice.

This brings us back to Tip one: Ask.

It's usually ok to ask If we have tried something. No harm in asking a question if you don't know. Just don't assume.

If any one has any other advice for those who are first time meeting a TTM sufferer, please do leave a comment.